Casino Rng Gamblers Bad Habits in a Casino

Fallacies and Fools to Avoid in the Casino 

 I like to gamble, so sue me.  I gamble more than I should, but I gamble less than would qualify me for joining gamblers anonymous in Seattle.

 I would enjoy it a lot more however, if not for these infuriating traits of my fellow addicts, eh that is, gamblers.

 Number one on my list: Screen Whackers.

 Here I am sitting at a machine and trying to concentrate on winning when I hear a loud slapping sound.

 I look over and see a man hitting the slot machine each time he presses the spin button. When the spinning stops,  and he gets nothing, he growls, “nothing! and whacks it again.

After this electronic abuse has gone on for twenty minutes or so, I sneak a glance over to see it the computer screen is still intact.  I expect to see a large crack in the display window, but it looks none the worse for wear.  (They must design those things with bullet-proof glass!)

 He pauses long enough to light a cigarette, blows a puff of smoke my way, and pushes the button, whack! no points racked up, and he whacks it again. 

 “I’d hate to be your kid,” I say.

 “What did you say?”  He turns to face me

 “It’s getting late,” I say and look at my watch.

 “I put $400.00 in this sucker and it won’t give me squat!”

Couldn’t knock any sense in it, huh? I wanted to say.

I hesitated to suggest trying another machine.  I didn’t know the casino’s budget on broken slot machines.

 But one thing for certain, I know damn well they didn’t have a: We Break, We cry; You Break, You Buy, policy. 

 “You win some and lose some,” I mumbled as I got up.  I didn’t say “Good Luck” although I was tempted to say it to the Jade Monkey.  (The machine he was playing.) 

 2. The  Stopper

Most people who play slot machines frequently know about the RNG. (Random Number Generator.) works.  But for those who thing RNG is an abbreviation for something your phone does, here’s a recap.

 In a three-reel game, the RNG picks three random numbers. Each number corresponds to a stop on each reel: the machine directs the reels to stop on the spots selected by the RNG.

 But what mystifies me is the number of people who think that “stopping’ the machine will get them a jackpot.

Not so!  You hit the play button and by the time the reels are spinning, the game is already over. (In other words, the stop place was determined at the point your hit the play button!)

 The RNG has already selected the stops, and no amount of hitting the stop button is going to make any difference! 

 Take notes, there’s going to be a pop quiz:  the spinning reels are for the entertainment of the player.

 You could put your money in, hit play; shut your eyes and go into a frigin’ trance and those wheels will stop where they’re programmed to stop.

 Lord love a duck, the stoppers are everywhere.  Their easy to spot, these are the folks who have their hands up in the air like they’re at a Come to Jesus meeting, and they declare in a loud voice, “I stopped it!  I stopped it!” 

 3.Cell Phone Talkers

 Ladies and Gentleman of the casino jury, I introduce in evidence: the cell phone talkers.

 Now,  there might be slight case of ‘sour grapes’ here  One time, I made a call to my sister, and had not gotten out the first word before a man (who looked like he might be security) came over and said, “Sorry, no cell phones allowed.”  I apology profusely and put it back in my handbag.

 I now see people sitting talking on cell phones in plain sight.

Why aren’t the security guards telling them not to ‘phone home’?

 With these folks’ the conversations seldom vary:

 “I’m sitting here looking at the Cleopatra machine and I just won $400.00. (What wasn’t said was:  “I could have built the pyramids with what I put in that sucker!)

 “Guess what, Grandma, I lined up five cheetahs-no, I’m not at the  zoo, I’m at-never mind.”  

 “John, I won’t be home for awhile, I’m on I-5 and the traffic is at a standstill.  What? no the chirping sound is coming from a police vehicle…”

I keep my opinions to myself   although I’m tempted to lean over and ask one of them if they’re familiar with the study that linked heavy cell phone use to malignant tumors of the salivary bland. (But I thought that might be in bad taste.)

 4. Good Luck Symbols.

 Now I suppose I could be considered a curmudgeon.

Why do good luck symbols bug me, for Goodness sake?

 They don’t if they left in the car or at home.  But seeing the symbols on top of a slot machine, or sitting in a person’s lap is a little too much.

 I’ve seen Buddha’s statutes, (complete with belly rubs) perched on top of a slot machine.  I’ve noticed stuffed lady bugs, elephants, lions and tigers nestled in laps. 

(The purse on the floor forgotten and ripe for stealing, but a $l0.00 stuff animal is given their undivided attention as the player strokes the back of the lion as she works the machine.

5. The Petters.

Quite simply, Petters are people who ‘pet’ machines.  Before they push they play button, they move their hand in a circular motion over the machine. They hit play, and the next time, pet it again.  This goes on until they hit a jackpot.  (And believe they could open their own petting zoo before that happened.)  

Perhaps they think the petting motion affects the payoff in some way: the energy from their hands might permeate the cold electronic devise and change its ‘mind’ into giving them a jackpot.

 Now, it would be nice to think that these ‘petters’ are kind and loving individuals-and perhaps they are;  but why is it when their spouse comes over and ask them  if they’re ready to go home, they say, “Leave me alone you S.O.B. I’ve got a hot machine!” 

(Or words to that affect.)

 I’m leaving out the smokers in my slot player’s quirks rant.   I do so because stop smoking is hard to do (I’ve tried it hundreds of times) and they get enough grief from the reactions of former smokers.   

 So that’s about it, my rant about fallacies and fools at the casino.  

I’m not perfect-I’m sure that I probably irked some people too. 

There was this time that I hit the Progressive Jackpot not five second after a woman had gotten off it and moved to the machine next to me.   

 At least I think she was irked.  I’ve never seen anyone bite a cigarette in half  before.